Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Building a Thesis: September 6, 2017

Focus: How do we develop a routine for building a structurally sound thesis?

1. Offering you little scientific inspiration on the importance of observing and questioning

2. Observing: Look over your research with a curious mind, and try the following:

a. Make a few simple observations regarding your topic/research that you think are important and/or that interest you the most.
  • As Y2K approached, people were quick to panic.
  • Many assumed that a technical glitch would essentially lead to the end of civilized life.
  • People hoarded goods, build underground shelters, and prepared for the new millennium as though preparing for a natural disaster or a war.

b. Based on your observations, ask a Level 3 question that you hope to answer as you dive into your research. TYPE IT AT THE TOP OF YOUR ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY.

Remember: A Level 3 question has many possible answers and can be applied to many situations.
  • Ex: Why is paranoia contagious?
  • Ex: What is the link between reliance on technology and mass panic?
  • Once you have your Level 3 question, you will know exactly what you will spend your essay trying to prove!
3 or 4. Shaping your structure:
  • What might you discuss in your first body paragraph? Your second? Do you need a third or a fourth?
3 or 4. Making your thesis:
  • Looking at your structure, develop a thesis that makes an argument, hopefully by answering your big, Level 3 question, and lays out the overall structure.
  • My Level 3 question: Why is paranoia contagious?
  • My rough thesis: The events of Y2K expose that paranoia is most contagious when it's rooted in dependence on technology and fear of poverty.
  • POST YOUR THESIS ON TODAY'S CLASS BLOG. DUE BEFORE CLASS TOMORROW.

HW:
1. For Thursday: Please finish your thesis if you did not finish in class. I will be reviewing them with you individually in class tomorrow. POST IT ON TODAY'S CLASS BLOG.

Also, if you need to add to / modify your annotated bibliography to support your thesis, please do so tonight.

2. Spend 5 minutes with Puritan Words, List 1; we will have an assessment on Friday. Strong familiarity with the words is required, but strict memorization is not.

3.  If it's in your budget or on your bookshelf, please acquire your own copy of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer.

60 comments:

  1. 9/11 had a major effect on the United States as a whole, Since the overbearing attack our country has done everything under government power to make American safety stable again.

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    1. Well phrased--strong clarity and specificity. I'd like to see you make a larger statement about what 9/11 has taught us about cultural hysteria (think about cause and effect).

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  2. People love the idea of attention and exaggerating events in order to give themselves, their community, and/or those around them a chance to make a mark on history which could be why the people created so many myths on The War of the Worlds.

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    1. Excellent argument--specific and complex. In terms of clarity, let's tighten up the wording. For example, instead of "idea of attention and exaggerating events," you could just say "attention and exaggeration." Be a little more assertive in that final clause...go ahead and say that this is why (or this contributes to) the myths on The War of the Worlds.

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  4. The uncertainty of Y2K led the country into panic due to the fact that uncertainty diminishes our ability prepare for the future.

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    1. Good start--I like how you're looking at the bigger picture. I have two suggestions: Try not repeat "uncertainty" (find a good synonym, and think about the main points of your body paragraphs. Try to incorporate those sub-points into your thesis (right now, I'm seeing one point. It's a really good point, but I'd like to see at least one more).

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    1. I like the strong stance you're taking here. My big suggestion is that I'd like to see you address cultural hysteria here...perhaps you could add a "because" at the end that addresses the danger of government censorship and its role in cultural hysterias.

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  6. Although the technology industry has made many improvements, during the 2016 election, ‘fake news’ became more apparent by the use of one sided stories, internet trolls, and not strictly emplaced laws on fake news sources.

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    1. I really like the specificity and complexity here. Here's my big suggestion: try to connect this to cultural hysteria. For example, you could assert that the fake news scandals reveal that modern cultural hysterias stem from one-sided stories, internet trolls, etc. A wording suggestion: try tightening up "not strictly"...perhaps replace with "weakly"?

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  7. Throughout many years, serial killers have stabbed fear into the hearts of America, the fear began with a loss of safety, terror that has grown when technology was introduced, and the different ways the brain handles a variety of things that leads to psychopathy.

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    1. I like the cause & effect train your delineating here (great word choice as well). My big suggestion to you is to connect this back to cultural hysterias in general. For exam, you could say that serial killers reveal the process of how many cultural hysterias unfurl: loss of safety, terror that...etc.

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  9. Fear drives humans to do many things, but no kind of fear is greater than the fear of the unknown, fear escalates when death can happen at any time, it may even be in your mail.

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    1. You're doing a great job of capturing the bigger picture here. My suggestion is to get it more specific. Which cultural hysteria are you examining that exemplifies this trajectory of fear? Also, try to make your last clause match your first two clauses. You've got fear of the unknown, the feeling of imminent death, and then mail. Perhaps mail could represent the closeness of the threat?

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  10. The worsened condition of New Orleans exposed the government's failure to help protect the victims of katrina from the failure of over 50 leeves and lack of proper help.

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    1. A strong, clear statement addressing the specific causes of this disaster. Here's my suggestion: Take one step back and make a bigger statement about cultural hysterias. For ex, what happened in New Orleans demonstrates, perhaps, that hysterias are at the worst when the government fails to protect its victims, when technology fails to uphold its shields, and when society is reluctant to help.

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  12. The Red Scare reveals that “enemies within” cause mass panic in our home lives as well as in our school lives.

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    1. I like this--it's direct and concise, but it also gives the reader a clear sense of your sub-points. After you work on your draft, you might be able to add a "because" to the end of us and analyze why enemies within cause even greater panic than outside enemies.

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  14. Our world is moving farther and farther away from God's image and is rapidly advancing in technology that correlates to God's list of tasks that must happen before He returns. For that reason people think Jesus will make his Second Coming during our lifetime

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    1. You're doing a good job of finding specificity and concrete ideas within a very abstract topic. My big suggestion is to connect this to cultural hysteria. Is the Second Coming causing a hysteria, and if so, what does it suggest about the origins of hysteria?

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  16. Mass hysteria events like the Zodiac Killer show how people aren't born evil but it is due to their upbringing.

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    1. I like the structure of this thesis. In the second part of your thesis, I'd like to see you address the cause of hysterias, how they spread, or what their consequences are. For example, do hysterias breed "evil" in people?

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  18. Urban myths like the Charlie Charlie Challenge reveals that people need a distraction from reality when society is constantly under some state of stress.

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    1. I like the clear, specific, cause & effect structure here. Nice balance between your specific topic and the larger concept of cultural hysteria. My suggestion: think about what your first body paragraph will be about and what your second body paragraph will be about (and a third body paragraph if you need one). Then, make sure those topics are being clearly stated in your thesis.

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  19. Bobby Batlzer: Rough thesis: The events of clown sighting became popular news stories that can be traced back through social media, rumors and storytelling.

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    1. Nice identification of the importance of social media, rumors, and storytelling. I think this will be an intriguing essay. My suggestion: tie these ideas back to the larger concept of cultural hysteria. In other words, how do killer clowns exemplify what happens in many cultural hysterias? One last thing: if you find that "rumors" and "storytelling" are too similar, combine them into a single paragraph. There's no law that there has to be three body paragraphs. :)

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  20. The question we should be asking is, how has feminism morphed modern society, and why has it become so violent and misandristic in the past few decades?

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    1. Such an important question. In your thesis, try to answer this question with an assertive statement about how feminism has morphed modern society, and why it has become violent and misandristic (in other words, hysterical). So, your thesis will go something like, "Feminism has erupted into a cultural hysteria over the past three decades because _____________ and ___________." You don't need to use that exact structure--I just wanted to give you a concrete example of what I was trying to say. :)

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  22. Have food hysteria always been around and we have yet to notice them and why haven't we recognized them yet?

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    1. HG--is this you? This is an excellent question. Your next step is to create a thesis by answering this question. Make an assertive statement about why people don't recognize food trends as hysterias, or why we turn something as simple as eating into a hysteria.

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  23. Government censorship should never be allowed, especially when people like N.W.A. are talking about race issues; censorship causes people to get angry at the government and start riots or get hysteric.

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    1. I like the work you've done on this thesis. You take a strong stance, you back it up with specific ideas, and you connect it all to the larger concept of hysteria. In terms of clarity, my suggestion is to tighten up the clause that comes after the semicolon. You might say, for ex, that censorship is the primary cause of hysteria because it leads to extreme anger at the government and potentially violent riots.

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  24. The theories of philosophers, such as Aristotle and Freud about hysteria affect how we view mental illness today.

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    1. Who are you, Unknown? Is this Percy? I'd like to give you credit in IC for this intriguing thesis. Creative connection between hysteria's past and our view of mental illness today. My big suggestion is to get even more specific here...think about what point you'd like to prove about hysteria in your first body paragraph, and then in your second (and your third, if you have a third body paragraph). Try to introduce those points in your thesis.

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  25. Mass hysteria and paranoia spread easily through a population because humans are ruled by fear and an instinct to protect themselves and others as evidenced by the supposed link between autism and vaccines.

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    1. Yes! Excellent thesis--specific, complex, and beautifully phrased. If I have to make a suggestion here, it's a small one: try replacing "supposed" with a more assertive word that demonstrates your strong stance against the existence of that link between autism and vaccines.

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  26. Social media has shown to have a negative outcome on a person's mental health with snapchat and Instagram being the leading apps in creating anxiety, depression, and loneliness, and controversial issues like bullying and sexting.

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    1. Great start! I know I already conferenced with you in class on this, so I think your thesis has evolved since you posted it. As a recap: take out some of the specific items in your list and assert them as broader categories. Then you will have space in your thesis to make a larger connection to cultural hysteria (how does this particular hysteria exemplify many modern cultural hysterias?). This is going to be a fascinating essay.

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  27. How will the threat of nuclear war affect us all as a planet? Will it make people more closed off and selfish? or will it make us more understanding of one another and more willing to help?

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    1. Really important questions. In your thesis, you want to make an assertive statement that answers these questions. I know that when I conferenced with you in class, you were interested in looking at the possible bright side of cultural hysterias such as this one. You could have a thesis that says something like, "Cultural hysterias such as the threat of nuclear war often devastate a country by ______; however, they can also enrich a culture by _____." You don't have to use this exact structure by any means, but if you're explore two opposite sides of a topic, the semicolon-however structure can work well.

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  28. The Phoenix Lights put people in a state of hysteria due to people’s lack of knowledge on the topic and fear of the unknown; possibilities of extraterrestrial life have provoked this reaction from the public due to their unnatural and daunting state.

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    1. Excellent start! I know we conferenced in class yesterday, so this might not be the most updated version of your thesis, but here's a little more feedback: I like your two main points because the first one--lack of knowledge--feeds logically into your second one--the fear that comes from that lack of knowledge. I'd love to see you shift your wording just a tiny bit to say that cultural hysterias such as the Phoenix Lights show how people's lack of knowledge deteriorates into fear of the unknown. You don't need to word it like that, but I'd like you to make an argument about the causes of all cultural hysterias (using the Phoenix Lights as an example).

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  30. The June bug epidemic a cultural hysteria in a factory that lead to a physiological anxiety to workers. And the need to find physical evidence of what was the cause of exactly what was going on.

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    1. I like your focus on the causes of this hysteria (and all hysterias). I'd like you to blend these two sentences into one, and if you're struggling at all with how to structure this, you can try something like this: "The June bug epidemic reveals how cultural hysterias result from anxiety and the strong desire for physical explanations." Again, you don't have to use that structure, but I wanted to give you a concrete example to work from.

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  31. In times of panic and fear, people think it’s okay to discriminate against people which leads to mass hysteria, like after Pearl Harbor with the internment of Japanese-Americans in their own country.

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    1. Wonderful, important connections here--great balance of specificity and bigger picture. In terms of clarity, my one suggestion is strengthen some of your word choices to make them more assertive. Here are some words that you might consider replacing: "okay," the second "people," "leads," and "like." I'm being nit-picky here because your argument is already quite strong.

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  32. Mass hysteria events like the Zodiac Killer brings to attention how people may be born with certain traits, but ultimately their upbringing determines who they are, and hysterias in general make people act like they usually wouldn't.

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  33. The current cultural hysteria of Jesus’s Second Coming is a clear example of human's curiosity of the unknown. No one knows for sure when Jesus will come down but our advancement in technology and our world moving farther and farther away from God’s image is leading people to believe He will return in our lifetime.

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  34. The citizens of the U.S. are driven and motivated by money, it causes them to fear that another financial crisis will hit, creating another fear of losing their jobs and money which is the key to survival in our society.

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    1. I like the chain-reaction nature of your thesis; you're exploring well how something small grows into something monstrous. In terms of grammatical structure, you might consider utilizing the semicolon--probably after the word "hit." So your thesis would read something like, "The citizens of the US are driven by money, which causes them to fear that another financial crisis will hit; consequently, this creates an irrational insecurity that results in hysteria." You don't have to phrase it like that, but I wanted to show you what I was trying to say.

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  35. After 9/11, the world we knew changed. This tragedy taught U.S. citizens who to recover economically, socially, and financially without apprehension.

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    1. Hello! I know we conferenced after class about your thesis, so it has probably changed since you posted this. To recap: I like the focus on what we have learned from cultural hysterias (vs. focusing on the negative). My big suggestion is to connect this to all cultural hysterias...I think I might have suggested a structure to you after class, but let me know if you need more concrete suggestions.

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Stand Up and Speak (Finals, Day 2): May 25, 2018

Focus: What do we want each other to understand better or differently? 1. Warming up with a few reminders 2. Speaking and Listening: Enj...